Ned Sports

Yesterday the ned activity in my area was at an all time high.

About 2PM I hear a loud banging noise coming from outside my house. On investigation I find three neds hanging around at the back of the flats opposite my front door. Also on scene are a large metal pole and a toaster. One of the neds is using said pole to beat said toaster to death while the other two yell encouragement. I can only imagine this is some sort or rite of passage, a chibbing 101.

Maybe the toaster insulted their burberry.

Shortly after they scarpered, but not before hanging a toilet seat from the railings of the stairs ?

Then darkness came and it got worse. The neds had grown in number and seemed to be playing a modified version of hide and seek that invloved way too much yelling for “hide”, and “seek” was replaced with “kick the hell out of”. Yes they were taking it in turns to hide, and when they were caught the other group would kick the hell out of them.

We need to thin out their numbers, natural selection has seemed to pass over this niche. Maybe string some razor wre at head height to hope they run into it in the darkness.


bob says:
they were round my bit as well last night! All I could here was thuds, screams and shouts of "Cumoan then!" if your going to do anything to the fence then make sure it looks like a botched attempt to fix it. That way when the wee buggers try to sue for your fence ripping their face off you wont need to pay out anywhere near the amount you would if they managed to prove it was a defensive weapon.Mind you - the silenced sniper rifle idea sounds like fun. Not that I condone anything like that as it would be highly illegal - but fuck me it would be fun.

RSG says:
You wanna loan of this claymore mine, before I give it back to Airsoft Scotland?